


Neither AC Nor DC

by Gryphonrhi



Category: Captain America (Movies), Highlander: The Series, Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Realities Meme, Crossover, Gen, Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-06
Updated: 2016-01-06
Packaged: 2018-05-12 03:50:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5651449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gryphonrhi/pseuds/Gryphonrhi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Iron Man saw a quickening, Steve Rogers is seeing someone he knew seventy years ago, and Hawkeye's doing what he does best: keeping an eye on the patterns.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Neither AC Nor DC

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Alternate Realities meme (5 sentences? Hah!) and not part of any of my series.

"No one is doing _anything_ to me without my consent." 

The stranger managed a very credible growl and Clint had taken enough weapons off him that he took the warning seriously, if not the guy's name. Jehan Biche? That had gotten past customs?

Tony looked affronted and never slowed his babble, only changed direction. "--and get a Code Green _and_ my Evil Overlord papers couriered over? Not a chance. I just want to see how you were absorbing that much lightning without taking any damage." He prowled around the stranger as he talked, still partially in his armor and shedding dust and ash as he went. "Interesting thing is -- actually, it was all fascinatingly weird -- about one strike in twelve was arcing _back_ from you to that corpse."

The stranger stood up and Clint came up out of his crouch just as the door opened again.

A man Clint had _thought_ was an innocent bystander sauntered through, puffing contentedly on a pipe that didn't seem to be lit and looking around with open fascination.

Sam was walking in front of the guy, trying to slow him down. He looked cheerfully baffled that he wasn't getting anywhere, but his hands were out and open, his body language non-aggressive even for Sam's usual good cheer. Promising signs, so far as they went. 

"No, no," the bystander soothed him in a British accent. "Trust me, once Robert's on a tear, you're going to need someone to help you hand out the beers and calm everyone down-- Ah, good. There you are." The bystander actually wore, and doffed, his hat to Tony and then, surprisingly, to Clint. The motion revealed short blond curls full of water and debris from the impact site they'd pulled this Biche, or, apparently, Robert, out of.

"I say, I know you use the name Hawkeye, but did it come before or after the perching habit? Robert. Here." The blond handed over a sack with a 'Polish The Apple!' shirt, brand new, in Natasha's black and red. Good taste at least. "Now, then. I say you clean up, I clean up, and we let Mr. Stark here provide some beers -- surely you can provide showers and drinks?" was the pleasant inquiry.

Tony nodded, baffled, and Clint took a fast, sideways shot from his cell phone in case Jarvis refused to release the picture of his face later. 

"Good. Then we can discuss this more comfortably. Robert probably still won't tell you anything--"

"It's Jehan, Fitz." Robert sighed. "Do you ever listen?"

"Not until there's beer, no. Neither do you." The blond sat down in a chair and puffed at his pipe. "Blasted no smoking policies everywhere. I do miss the time it took to clean, retamp, and relight a pipe. It gave everyone a few breaths to calm down and think."

Sam managed to stop chuckling long enough to say, "Sorry, man. Secondhand smoke is just not a great idea. Now, clean up, level out everyone's blood sugar, and maybe take this from the top again? That gives us a breathing space and it sounds pretty good to me. I've got concrete dust in places I don't even want to think about. Clint, Tony –- okay with you guys? Steve may be back by then."

"And other people might show up," Robert sighed. "Not the best idea, Fitz."

"We could do worse than see what the local expert thinks we should do about this mess." Fitz cocked a head at Robert, surprised and pleased. "Well, that's you nicely defused already. But I do think we should sort out our story before someone decides on one for us."

"Fitz? Hugh FitzCairn?" Steve stopped in the doorway, staring at the blond. "Am I hallucinating?"

"Not at all," Fitz said cheerfully. "Good to see you again, Steve. So? Hot water, cold beer, a few stories, gentlemen? And then you can brief me properly, Steve, before I go looking for your sergeant. When he went past me last week, he looked direly in need of a few weeks' leave with a lot of wine, women, and song, or some variants thereof...."

"You saw Bucky? When? Where?" Steve had already been coming forward, hands out to shake or even hug; he stopped, intent on the new data, and Fitz clapped an arm on his shoulder, a friendly gesture that Steve actually allowed.

"Showers _first_ , guys, and food and drink. Then we can sort out the next job." Sam shook his head and headed people to hot water and soap and, eventually, a room with chairs, hot coffee, and cold beers. Jarvis and recordings, however, were guaranteed.

Jehan or Robert looked the situation over, sighed, and picked up the t-shirt, bag and all. He also looked straight up at Clint, the first time he'd admitted the archer was up there, and said, "Come on, then. We're not getting Fitz out of here now. We'll be lucky if he doesn't call in help."

"Your 'local expert,' or someone else?" Clint asked dryly, but he dropped down to ground level with only a minor creak of knees.

"Let's hope for neither." Robert rolled his eyes. "Of course Fitz knows Captain America. Of course he does."

Clint shrugged. "Be grateful. Now Tony's more interested in how he knows Cap than he is in your lightning."

Robert glanced sidelong at him, mouth shifting into a smile that hid too many edges when Clint suspected they were aimed at him. "For the moment." He added, dry as the dust on his boots, "When you need answers, by the way, call Fitz and tell him he and I aren't it. He'll find someone."

Clint just nodded slowly. "Let me guess. If I ask what you know that I don't, you wouldn't answer?"

"I'd tell you to specify which volume of the encyclopedia, yes," Robert said dryly.

Clint nodded slowly. "Right. Shower's this way." With the hand that wasn't holding a door open, he signed Jarvis, asking for an ID on 'Robert' and for Jarvis to copy Natasha on all data.

The rest could wait until it was needed.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, apparently I just made Clint pre-immortal. I also have Methos using the name John Doe. I blame a drunken bet or just an imp of the perverse. Extra Fitz due to Sam's excellent suggestion.


End file.
